I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
