You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
