I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
