i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
where does the pee come out of this thing
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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