I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
