one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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