Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
