proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
it glows. i had to have it.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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