I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
