that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
