I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
This girl is more easily done than said...
Acid is not a monday night drug
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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