We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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