drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
