if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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