I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
