I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
