i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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