She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
