Whod you bang
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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