so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
