I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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