I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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