Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
