What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
