You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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