So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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