Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
