you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Drunk walkin through police station. America
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
