I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
