help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
