Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
