I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he thought i was a dude.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
