I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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