Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
