Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize