tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
