there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize