I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i think my cat just said my name.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
