Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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