I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
