I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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