ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
