he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
