Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
