She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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