that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
