Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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