Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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