i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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