she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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