i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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