The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
