Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
