If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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