She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
