school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
sex in a hospital.. check
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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