i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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